Yeap, It's such a relieve to finish my Mental Health assignments in a week time. I wonder how many hours did I slept for these few days after working a night shift and staying late for assignment every night. I'm worn out and exhausted, I really was. I was stressed up and wanted to talk to someone, but somehow it's always the wrong timing, everyone was so busy and stressed up with exam too=(

It's alright, I'll be telling you I'm okay, but I doubt about the fact. There it go when I rely so much on my teddy again, I just need to hug you tight.

It's a great relieve for not having anything bothering me, I can look forward for placement and continue with my working with no worries. I'll try my best, make myself busy so that my brain is fully occupied. I'm really nearly there, just about 35 days to go. Sounds great aye?=D

I seems to be letting go pretty good, at least I think it's good for me. Living my own life is what I want after all. Did I changed after being here? Yeah, I think I'm more mature with thinking and realise how realistic is people in the society. Honestly, I hate it. I wish I could live in a fairy tale with no devil around. No one is perfect, perfect is simply just imperfection. Think about how perfect you are before trying to pick on others weakness. Don't be so picky as people will be picking on you too=D

I'm looking forward to go home. After all, don't freak out on my changes. I'll still look like little girl but I've grown up with all the tears. People says that you're never gonna be alone, but believe me, somehow or sometime in our life, we are alone. It just depends how do you look at it.

Just live to the full, cry to the hardest and laugh to the blast. Live everyday as it's gonna be the last day, no one knows whether tomorrow or accident come first.

Hmm, I came to this point and started to wonder again. I get a bit unhappy and angry with it. Maybe deep inside my heart, I care about it. But something come across my mind, if you don't care, I won't give a damn thing from now on. Maybe, that thought won't last long, as I changed my mind most of the time on these things.

But I did it for the first time, I didn't want to do anything about it. I just wanna see how is it like for you? For everything I did, being honest, I don't have an obligation to do so. I do it because I care, I thought I'll get back what I deserve, but it doesn't seems to work like this. Appreciate it if you mean it. Stop being grandiose, you might be nothing to someone. Somehow, I might be wrong, I don't mind to accept that.

Okay?! What's wrong with me now? I've never thought that this way of thinking will appear now, but I guess that after watching Charlie St. Cloud, this should be implement here. Live, Love and Let go.

Worth it or not? Let the time decide, I'll just wait until I figure out what is it all about. Did I changed? Or I'm beaten by your realistic thought? I'm not realistic at all, I still want to believe in fairy tale. I work hard for what I want, and I think in the way of needing to accept the reality due to life, not because of being realistic.

Seriously, should I be happy or sad? I'm going home soon, but I'm gonna have my placement real soon, in just 2 weeks time. I'm stressed out now, SERIOUSLY!!

Now I started to wonder myself, what's the matter with me? Okay! I have class the whole day on Thursday,did a night shift after that, have class for whole day on Friday, attend a friend's birthday party, off to work again at night, slept for the whole afternoon after back from work, off to work on Saturday night again. I know... I messed up my life. I slept like 3 hours in two days time. Now, I got this weird sleeping pattern. I'll be alright, went for gym this afternoon, hopefully I'm tired enough to sleep early tonight, I'm off to work again tomorrow morning.

Somehow, I'm just kind of in love with night shift. Night shift seems good for me. No rush and seems peaceful. I don't find any problems with it, I'm alright to stay awake throughout the night. I know it's kind of creepy, and it can be bad too sometimes. I know it's not good for health having those messed up sleeping pattern.

Thinking of work, I'm just worried and stressed out. I'm afraid that I couldn't finish off on time. I'm only there for 3-4 days in a week. I'm doing morning, afternoon and night shifts.. Kind of like a mixture. It's really hard to figure out how things really work in every shift. People come and go, routine changes and updated. There is just so much things to take up.

Somehow, I have study and assignments to catch up as well. You just don't feel like dealing with it especially after work, all I know is I'm damn tired. The only thing I could do to deal with heavy assignments was just stay up the whole night, no matter what, I have to finish it!

I'm currently up to the topic about Mental Health. It's an interesting topic, but it's not my cup of tea. The more I get to know about Mental Health, I get to suspect that I have those mental problems. Despite, it makes me think that everyone have mental problems. Just that we're just mild, not that serious to be concern.

Until now... There's still things that I can't figure out. Anyway, I shouldn't care that much, let it be right? But I wonder why, when I don't wanna care, it comes to me. When I care about it soooo much, I couldn't even figure out what. Is it like a games?

I know, I have to be strong, need to hang on there, I'm nearly there right? =)

我还真的不晓得自己最近怎么了？压力吧...课业有压力，工作更有压力，还有自己解决不了的问题，我觉得自己快发疯了！

也许我不曾发现，在某些方面，我像是个完美主义者。我很努力的想要做好每一件事，可是我并不完美。即使受了委屈我又能如何，我并没有想要回应的打算。我只有一个请求，不要再增加我的负担，不要再增加我的压力，让我有个依靠，好吗？

微笑不代表我真的很开心，有时候想掩饰真正的自己，也不想影响别人的情绪。我不晓得反驳，因为要比吵架，我不可能会赢。今天工作后，我真的超想哭，可是我不能让眼泪流下，要坚强不是吗？有时候，处处为人着想，站在别人的观点上思考，那我自己呢？我忘了我自己。我对着大家笑得灿烂，可是我没有笑给自己看。

果然我还是忍不住了。哥，我好想念你，你还是和以前一样那么的幽默，总是逗我笑。但这回我哭了，因为你说很久没有抱我了，就算要倒下，也要等到回家才行，因为你会替我人工呼吸！加上今天工作的压力，和一切的一切，我竟然哭得稀里哗啦...就像个小孩一样！你说，两个月很短，我相信你，会坚持走下去！

Guess what? They are my family in Adelaide. Well, I bought 2 of them here, 2 in Melbourne and one of the panda was given by my sister. When I feel down, I hug them tight. There is a saying that, when everything else fails, hug you teddy. A teddy will always care, no matter what. At least it works for me, I hug my teddy when I feel like crying. Sorry for wetting you guys, but I love you all=)

I know I might be childish, I do believe in fairytale. I named all of them and each of them represent a character in my family. The biggest teddy which apparently look darker is my dad(Gullivan), the one beside was my mom(Little Chu Chu), the panda was my sister (Tarepanda), the little on in the middle is me (Zac) and the one beside me is my brother (Winter Bear).

You can laugh as you like, I'm kind of like a little children aye? Hehe... They sleep with me everyday, unless I'm working night shift, I'm so gonna miss them! I always hug the big teddy (Daddy) when I sleep or talking on the phone. Hmm... Someone might wonder how does the teddy look like? Here a photo=)

Hmm, it's Spring now! The weather is getting warmer and seems great for me. But... Sometimes it's kind of too hot. I'm feeling suffocated and sweat like a pig during work. Well, the cherry blossom season was over, and here's the blooming cheery blossom. This is where I live, isn't that lovely? The sun strike and the cherry blossom was blooming gracefully!

There isn't much things happening around recently. Maybe yea, but I don't remember for the moment. It's about 3 weeks to go for my first aged care placement. I'm still wondering where am I gonna have my placement. That is not the most exciting part, it is... Just about less than 2 months to go, and I'm gonna be home! *Hooray!!!*

I'm looking forward for everything now. I'm gonna be busy next week onwards, I've got 3 nighshift in a row and a friend birthday to attend. My colleagues is planning for a day to hang out together. It's gonna be fun, eventhough I have quite a lot of age difference with them, but that's aright. OMG! I'm really looking forward for the first social outing for The Bentleigh! It's a must to join! That's probably my first ever social function here, and not with friends, with all of my colleagues. I have no idea how is the social function here.

I'm having my placement on that period but I might be able to make good use of my time and fit everything in. Just less than 2 months time for my first ever trip to home. I've been pushing hard all the way, the remaining 2 months will be the same. I'm not gonna lay back, I'm so gonna keep going. Well, I'm gonna grumble that I'm tired, but no worries, I'll be alright after spurting out my tiredness.

Cheers guys=)

I watched Charlie St. Cloud just now, one word to described, 'AWESOME'!! It's really worth watching. For those who thinks that you're probably lost somewhere in your life, watch this. You'll figure what things means in your life. I'm not after Zac Efron after all, so that's not the main point that I'm eyeing on this movie. Yeah right, he's good looking but that's not the main point in this movie. I saw the trailer when I watched 'Going the Distance' last time.

Well, it was so damn touching. It's about the value of relationship between brothers and your love one. It was about live, love and let go. When we live on we get involved with love, when dealing with love, there's time that we actually have to let go. Let go, because we need to go on. If you're given the second chance of live, it really means something. I cried like crazy in the cinema.

Maybe I've really seen how precious life is when dealing with death at work. Part of the reason that I would actually love being a nurse was being able to deal with people's life experience and learn from them. Everyone single one of them have their stories and it's really interesting. After all, it still depends on how do you look at things. Put your heart in there and you might be able to discover something.

I wonder why, but I've been writing a lot recently. I have no idea where to splash out all those thoughts in my mind. The only way was just write in down.

At some point, I really do understand that there's things that I need to let go. It's not that I can't make it. But, there's things that was not sure. Do I really know what I want? It's gonna take some time. Stop playing around, stop coming to me when I'm at the edge of making it through, be honest to yourself, make things clear please. There's a lot of things that I actually don't mind but it really doesn't mean I don't care.

I would actually love to watch Charlie St. Cloud again=)

Oh yeah *claps*... It's exactly 2 months time to go, and I'll be back at home! It's not I wanted to go home, but desperately!! I guess lots people was gonna turn crazy if they're not back home for more than a year. I'm not crazy yet, but I get kinda homesick and feels exhausted. There's no way for me to kind of like relax if I'm here, I couldn't figure out, but I'm pushing myself real hard here.

Work was kind of stress recently. There's lots of 'happening' things which changes the atmosphere of the working place. I'm worried that I couldn't finish on time, as I'm hopping all around recently, with all the residents that I've never did before. I'm glad that everything turn out to be fine, but I'm feeling so tired. My back and muscles was achingly pain, I guess I hurt myself during work. Geezz... Why are the old people so heavy? Or I'm a little tiny baby?

Oh! My soul's gone somewhere. Haha... Imagining all the happening and wonderful time I'm gonna have in 2 months time. Well, I GOTTA get through the placement first! I wonder where I'm gonna end up, just pray hard it's not gonna be where I don't want to.

I'm trying to make myself not to think so much recently. I'm tired, I just wanna sleep, I'm busy and that's it. I'm kind of mad on something, you know what? I don't hate you, not at all, but for your goodness sake, I don't give a damn thing on you, instead... You're the one who make things hard. Or did you really want me to tell you the truth? I don't care what do you wanna do, but don't be childish. Maybe I'm blind sometime before this, but I thought at some point we've spoken it clear enough.

And for some other reason, I'm mad too... I'm sorry for not being there on time my friend. Like what I said, put your feet in others shoes before pointing your fingers everywhere. You're smart all the time but not this time. Dig a hole to protect your precious but you're trap in there too. Sit back and think carefully before trying to compare a friend that you knew over a year and another which you knew just a few months ago. Sorry means nothing my dear! Be sincere if you really wanna apologize. Yea, that's right. Apology can be accepted but the harm being caused couldn't be neglected. Do you seriously think it's worth doing that, I'm sorry to say that you're stubborn instead of genius this time. Well, that might be your own value of life and I'm not gonna judge it according to my point of view.

Alright! I need to stop with that! Otherwise my anger would never stop! Hmm... I'm working tomorrow, hope everything's gonna be fine=) I'm gonna watch 'Charlie St. Cloud' after work tomorrow! I'm being good to myself recently, work hard, study hard and big treat for myself!

Anyway, OMG! Congrats to LCW, KKK/TBH, KKK/CEH and WMC! You guys did well hey! I can't believe I watch it live online... I used up a big amount of my internet data, but that's alright, I'm happy! It was tremendous to see KKK/TBH in action, you guys are so dramatic mann! I love those action and funny facial expression, it's AWESOME! Eventhough WMC only manage to get a silver medal, but cheer up girl, we know you did well! You tried your best! Hmm... I'm really curious about the happy ending of the relationship between LCW and WMC! Is it true? By the way, I always thought the breakup was some kind of distraction so people won't concentrate on the relationship instead of badminton. After all, I still think they are perfect match, lovely couple=) All the best yeah! I'm looking forward for the coming Asian Games! It seems a bit hard as the host country was China, they might have the advantage of being a host country.