在我们的现实生活中，我们不停的引用着如果，可是有多少的如果会实现，有多少的如果能回头，有多少的如果是事实，又有多少的如果是能够兑现的呢？我承认，我讨厌自己的悲观。我宁愿想得最坏，也不愿意往好的一方面想，也许没有信心，可是希望越大，失望越大。

在这里的日子，一个人的时候，想得特别多。在想，原来来了这里，我也放弃了不少东西。放弃了原有的可能性，也许我不够坚强，战斗纠缠不下去，所以我选择放弃离开。现在回头再看时，原来一切都只是习惯，，习惯了有这么一个人一直在身旁。我不否认自己变了许多，成熟了，不再是大家以前说的大小姐了，独立了，可是还是如以前那么固执，爱哭...

我的坚强也很快就用完了，惟有把自己弄得很累才不会想很多。就因为把自己逼得太紧，所以坚强不起来，累了就只能用泪水来发泄。有些事情，我不会说出口，也说不出口，逼我只会让我离你更远。

现在什么都不想，只是想要某些事情一直都没改变。过去的很想忘了，可是有些事情，忘不了，因为那曾经是习惯。

PS：12月要回家了，拭目以待我那怪怪的华文吧！我自己也受不了...

Hey there, it’s been ages since I last update my blog… Sorry guys! I know it was like 3 months ago that I last updated my blog. I’m putting myself in trouble now as I’ve got so many things to write. There are heaps of things that are happening in these 3 months. Hmm, a short period that was fully of joy and laughter together with some tears.

On the month of May, it was just all about eating, studying and working. Not to forgot about my dearest friend, Debrah’s birthday. I bought her 4 cupcakes that were specially made! We planned to give her a surprise, and we knew she won’t fell into our trap so easily. So I ended up telling lie that there was spider in my room, acting like I’m so scared! (I’m actually scared that she won’t be bothering me) Haha! But I got you Debrah! It wasn’t a big spider, but more them 10 of them hiding in my room with a birthday cake=) we hope you really like the surprise girl.

When it comes to the month of June, it wasn’t fun anymore but full of hard work and tears. It’s time to get serious when the A & P topic began. It comes with few hundred pages of learning guide and 10 assessment essays. Not to forget the 4 test with the passing mark of 70%. It wasn’t the matter of easy or difficult but about how much time would you have to deal with all of these. You would really want to cry if you’re working from Saturday to Tuesday and test on 9 topic of Anatomy and Physiology on Wednesday morning. I’ve used up all the spare time including break time during work and extra time when waiting for bus to study, but there’s no way to finish all of that. It just wasn’t the matter about whether I’m working hard enough, somehow I wish I had 48 hours in that day. I couldn’t help but was kind of frustrated with myself for not meeting my own expectation. Seriously, I hardly have extra time to really sleep. Honestly, I haven’t got time to watch any movie or drama for a couple of months already.

On the last day of our 2nd term, we went to celebrate at the Korean restaurant, it was good but missing a couple of them. It was a day full of laughter and crazy act, we was like the attention to everyone passing by. The “but but car” song really make me laugh till sitting on the floor. Oh god! Please don’t sing that at the bus stop again next time, I feel so embarrassed when people keep looking at me while I can’t stop laughing sitting on the floor. Anyway, D12! There it goes our second semester, good luck for the upcoming one!

I guess that was too much for me, and there’s no way for me to get home this holiday. So, I had a short getaway to Melbourne for 4 days 3 nights with Debrah. It was great! There’s nothing much to worry about and get away from work. Melbourne was totally different from Adelaide, lots of Asians, really a CBD! The first lunch we had there was at Old Town, Ohh! I really miss that! Something that shouldn’t be left out was Starbucks Green Tea latte and EASY WAY! I miss that DAMN much! Eating that kind of food makes me feel like I was home. Seriously, studying in Melbourne was still like back in home. You could just find everything there. Anyway, I still prefer Adelaide, it’s peaceful and less hectic. The hustle and bustle of Melbourne was not a good place for studying with lots of entertainment.

I went to Philip Island, Churchill Island, Harbour Town, Chinatown, Southern Cross and just basically walking around the city. It was a holiday, so I spent some time on exercising, doing spa and sauna in the hotel. It was really relaxing! Time that you enjoy always pass by like lightning, short but precious and memorable. I met up with one of the ex- classmate as well, talk a lot about our friends and class. That makes me feel like going home. After all, my secondary school life was really memorable with all the happening events.

Well, after the trip it was time to work hard again. Think a lot during that period, there’s something that I should probably give up and stop dragging. It’s tiring. So, just leave that aside. I was sick last week, with sore throat, cough, flu and headache. I knew I need some rest but I need to finish my assignment before it due. So I end up sleeping at 5am for 4 days consecutively to finish my work. I had another sleepless night after that as I work night shift, from 11pm till quarter past seven in the morning. It was crazy and tiring! But it’s time to rest to get well=) I’m alright now, getting better. I’m trying to sleep like a pig now, 12 hours in a day, handing up the assignment was like such a huge relieve. All I need to worry now is about work, will be working everyday this week. I’ve done my performance appraisal today, it was good but just need to attend some extra education session that was optional. I got to stop here, otherwise I won’t be finishing until tomorrow morning! Miss you all, take care=)

I couldn't think of any reason, but just simply not tired tonight. I'm working in the afternoon tomorrow, that's great as I doesn't need to wake up early anymore. Life has been tiring like always, work and study.

I've been to the city for some groceries shopping and bought myself some books to study during leisure time. I haven't done much things recently, spend most of my precious time on work, assignment, books and phone. Haha=) There's always someone that cheer me up!

Without realizing, it's gonna be May on next Sat. It means that I'm here for nearly 8 mths, I couldn't believe that! I knew I've been a bit late to realize people that was beside me and guide me through all the way, but thanks a lot! I do learned a lot throughout this period, appreciate what we have and don't judge people according to their appearance.

My life journey was a long way to go, don't ask me if I'm gonna go back in the future or stay here. I don't have the answer, please don't make any assumption as mind will change accordingly with maturity as i grow. I'm working hard on my English now to get band 7 or better in all the 4 categories of IELTS!

I'm sorry that I wouldn't have the time to update my blog frequently. There's lots things I've miss out and need to be sacrifies. I'm really looking forward to go home during this year end, probably gonna get my schedule in the coming June.

~Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you will enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the bumps too long but MOVE ON!!~

I'm nearly there, just two more days to go and I'll get a day off on Monday! My mission was nearly complete, I've been trying to be strong and get this through. Gonna release all the stress and tension I've got throughout this 2 weeks. Well, I did learn a lot and things are getting harder. I've been enjoying the time with those residents, it's a happy things when they do remember you all the time. Have been really tired for this period, been sleeping early at around 10.30pm, that wasn't like me at all! Haha...

Oh yeah! I'm gonna have a marvelous day when day off. Gonna get myself something nice as a reward of working hard. Probably gonna have lunch and dinner out there, trying with all kind of western food now, not gonna have asian food since I'm having it in Hosanna.

Well, there is always something that you do have to give up all the time, it's not possible to have everything. I'm not giving up about that, but let it go with fate and the time will decide.

I've been too busy to update what's been going on since I've started with my work. Lots stuff that I have done, such as been to the Malaysian Cuisine restaurant, Adelaide Northern Light and to Hog's breath cafe on the last day of the 1st semester. Hmm... I haven't got the time to upload those lovely photos. Having a early shift at 7am tomorrow up to quarter to four, and an afternoon shift on Sunday.

I'll definitely get some time to do that...Hehe, I'm just praying that I'll have a good day for the next 2 days! Crossed fingers=) Hmm... I'm missing someone at the moment, when should I call you?

首先当然恭喜李宗伟成为全英王咯！大家总算盼望到今天了，我一直相信只要不放弃，总会有成功的一天！从2003年第一局就遭受淘汰，一直走到今天的全英百届王，泪水和汗水是无法衡量的。他永远是我的英雄！其实一直都没办法真的看他打球，这里没有直播，就只能看livescore。可是时差的关系在加上最近忙碌的自己，真的撑不了。上课加上工作，真的很累人！现在整个人真的是紧绷了，好想大哭发泄发泄呢！

Could you save me? I'm stuck in here... Whatever i can do was just stay here and keep working hard! It's tiring... Really tiring! Well, the hero is back home, you are back home, everyone is back at home, when is my turn? Whatever it is, I really need a break, but I can't afford my life! So what can i do? Just gonna bare with it.

Well... Just ignore me anyway, just trying to relieve some stress. No matter how much laughter it doesn't really works to cheer me up. Just wish to drop down on the bed and sleep for a week! But honestly, I really wanna go home, at least to a place that I could have a rest and keep assignment and work away!

You won't know how it feels like when everyone arounds you get the chance to go back and you are there waiting for a unknown holiday. It's not the matter how life is over here, it is just that you really wanna go home for that shelter that you could actually forget about everything and have a good rest and some good food instead of the chicken!!!

Anyway, I'll be fine again tomorrow, that's me! Life is always tiring and that is what it should be. Nothing much you could do but keep yourself strong all the time, I know I can! No matter what, just hold on tight, there is always someone that inspire me to hang on for another moment!

Hmm…发觉自己不再有那么多的时间写下自己心里头的感觉了，不知不觉，在这里也接近半年了，真是光阴似剑，时光如梭…现在进入了工作和读书并和的时候，老实说真的不容易，可是我知道自己会坚持，因为这条路是我选的，也清楚自己想要的是什么。

还有个星期我就在这里半年了，其实在这段时间里我都不曾真的放假，半年里头就只有2个星期吧！所以有时候觉得好累，即使是来临有两个星期的放假，但是还是想努力工作赚钱。其实我喜欢也享受这份工作，看见老人家们过得开心，自己也会很安慰。有时候看见他们那样子，也会心疼。

其实真的好想家哦！当大家都聚在一起但却少了我时，真的好难过。在这么遥远的我，却不能在当下和你们分享喜悦。听见朋友们来来回回的回了家几趟，真的不禁在想，何时才轮到我。二月份要结束了，表示我还有大约9个月的时间应该就有机会回家了。所以我誓言要好好赚钱，以自己的能力付生活费，自己买机票回家，花自己的钱。爸妈为我付出的真的很多了，我今年也真的18了，该靠自己了吧！想好好报答他们，用自己的能力让他们来澳洲旅行。

其实如果没有家人，好多难关我真的不晓得自己能否熬下去，我只能说是眼泪伴随我成长。当我发现自己不再有那么多依靠时，真的一夜间成长了，很多事情即使是不晓得也要放2百个心跳去尝试。

我很庆幸自己今天能走到这里，如果当初的我没有坚持，今天的我或许还没成长，或许真的后悔了。

Hey, Happy Chinese New Year guys... Well, I'm somewhere else for Chinese New Year this year, didn't manage to go back to my hometown. For the first time, things was so different. Seriously, I have the feeling of being left out by everyone back there, i couldn't share the joy and the moment you guys have there.

I tried... Try to catch up with things, but it's just impossible. I understand things, and yeah, that's fine. Seriously, can't believe that i was here for nearly half a year already. Someone said that nothing is impossible with determination, if there's dedication, I could accomplish anything. At least this give me some motivation.

Have been really tiring these days, didn't manage to sleep well. I think i need a rest, but there's still way to go before I could actually rest. Too much things to worry, stress+ tension= tears
Pillow gonna wet again tonight=.=

Things gonna start all over again, in a brand new environment! I'm looking forward for that but really need to cope well with it. Well, at least i accomplish one of my other mission again this time. Just gonna hold on tight and get through it!

It's a long way to go again before i could go home. Apparently, another 10 months to go. And yet, i don't even know when is the date. Just realize that if you have faith on things, it's gonna come true. Pray hard, try your best and you'll be alright. Don't blame anything, go on with your life no matter how it is. Hmm... I really hope someone will bring me home>.<