Hey there! Life has been truly great too me. Giving me so much great people and most importantly those great memories. Honestly, this trip back is all about unexpectation. All I have in my mind previously was just getting a good rest and be back to the tough life again. But I had such a sweet dream. Omg! Like seriously, thanks guys! I think I'm lucky to have all of you.

13 years of friendship and yet it will always go on as I know. From primary school where I'm just a tiny monitor up till today which I'm already an Enrolled Nurse. I probably don't look like one, more to a crazy nurse thoughXD Things never changed, it's just that we all grew up. Everyone is getting engaged with a busy yet different life. It wasn't that simple as it used to be.

I was supposed to return to Adelaide on the 17Oct but ended up postponing it for another 2 weeks. I would have missed out some amazing moments if everything was settled on time. I know I was gonna miss Curry... Tom Yum... and Mushroom!XD Not the food, but the people. I couldn't recall all of those ridiculous stories. But, there's lots of fun! From how we got ourself a name based on the food, to how we use that in our daily life=D From the stories of ah piao, to ham sap beh beh!

Those 2 weeks was probably moments where I laughed the most. Hoepfully it's not the quota of the year yet! There's just no worries being together with you all. All we enjoy was being able to spent those time together and just LAUGH! I wish I could celebrate my birthday with you guys this year, but it doesn't seems possible. I wonder how would my 20th birthday gonna be like? All I know was, hey.. I'm getting old!

Hahaha=) And I was gonna be celebrating new year all by myself. That seems pretty lonely aye? It's okay, be strong Michelle! Life is tough, but I gotta go on. Even I'm just by myself, I'll have to get it through. It's like another week away from return to where I belong. It's time to get myself back on track aye? I'm kinda sad, and probably kind of insane right at the moment. Just hope that the feeling of homesick won't kill me later on. Cheers!

I have no freaking idea what's in my mind right at this moment. But this drawing just came out with such a phrase. I reckon that's probably something that was moving around in my mind. "World seems small, but we're right opposite on the globe."

All of a sudden, I have this strong feeling of going to beach. I must have gone insane somehow. I wish I'll use my mind to get what I want instead of letting my mind to do what mind wants.

There's so much wish where I hope it'll come true. But being truly honest, none of them seems to be possible. There's so much things bothering me at the moment. I know what to do=D I really do! It's about time to get myself back on track.

There's so much things that I should really think about it. It's time to get back to healthy lifestyle, it's time to get back to study, and it's time to be a workaholic again. I'm not really a workaholic, but that's what it is trying to get along with reality.

I'm afraid of losing? YES! Definitely! Not everything will leave me alone, but not everything will stay either. Sometimes, I hate being a sagittarius.. I hate thinking too much and keeping it to myself. When I question myself, I'm probably afraid of having to face stressful moments and tough life on my own. I probably seems pretty tough, but you never know, how much tears was needed to be able to stand on my feet. But I never give up, even though sometimes it was out of my expectation.

Nothing ever seems to be easy to me. At least it never happens in my life up till now.

I don't know what to say and I have no clue how much time do I need. But it's so hard to have faith and believe once again. It's difficult getting to hold something on your hand, but it's even tougher having to let go.

It's too hard to describe how is it like getting into such a situation. Dilemma? I'm feeling so lucky to own everything I have at the moment. Everyone has been treating me in such a nice way. It wasn't that it's only a single person but everyone did! Somehow I wish it wasn't true.. I'm putting myself in such a situation that I don't know what to do being care by everyone. The more care I've got from everyone, the feeling of insecure gets stronger. I'm so afraid that things will come to an end and I have to go own by myself again.

This is too cruel! I know it's impossible to keep things forever. But.. Is there a way to keep part of it? Life goes on and I have to move forward. Can I keep something with me for this upcoming journey? It's so hard to keep going, and I'm afraid of what's coming up.

This is reality! Telling me to wake up when the dream is coming to an end.

如果世上发生的每件事都有原因，那我好想知道，这一切到底意味着什么？不要让我如此的幸福，因为我好害怕失去的感觉，我没有想像中的坚强...

有人说，拥有就是失去的开始？也许吧...我只是知道，有很多事情，我搞不懂，也不希望结局会是我想像的那样。你说，相信缘分，是你的就是你的，如果注定不是你的，那就会流失，变成有缘无份。我相信缘分，但如果没有把握，就算是上天安排的缘分，也一样有始无终。人是会随着时间而改变的，就算是承诺了，也没有人能够确保，这一切不会改变，没有谁会为了谁而放弃生活。这个世界，让我看清了好多现实的面孔，虽然我并不想接受！

我觉得自己好幸福，幸福得让我好难过，为什么让我拥有那么多，却又是如此的短暂？这一切很美好，但为何无法一直拥有？

Hey guys! It seems like I've been away for quite a while. Sorry for not updating this blog, I'm pretty sure I'll need ample of time to update what I'm currently up to. Just gotta say, I'm back in Malaysia and in just a few weeks time I'm leaving for Adelaide again. I just can't put my feelings in words, and there's definitely too much to be describe.

In the past few weeks, I spent my time at Penang, Kuala Lumpur and Kuching. Even though it's just less than a week time at Penang, but it was undeniably AWESOME! It was heart stacking having to leave. I've been questioning myself every night before sleep if all of this was just a dream. How I wish it was, I rather believing this is just a dream, than having to realize that it's so painful getting back to reality. Dear God, thanks for giving me so much!

5 days in Penang is probably the most memorable moment in my life. There's things that I couldn't explain, there's moment where I laugh so hard because of those joyful moments. There's moment where I feel like crying seeing those touching moment. There's moment where you can see tears in my eyes, not because I'm feeling sad, but there's someone who understand me from the bottom of the heart, and caring for me like never ever before. Distance are tearing us apart, but you'll always be the special one. I wonder when'll be my next trip back, but I know we'll keep our promise towards achieving our own dream in life. I always hope there's an 'IF' in life, but we all know things would never be the same even there's an 'IF'!

Anyway, Congrats to my dearest Bro and Ai Sin for their sweet wedding! Wish you guys all the best in the future and eternal love. This trip back to Penang was definitely different from my previous trip back. It's only been 2 years since I last went back, and most of the relatives doesn't seems to be able to recognize me. I wonder if there's so much changes in 2 years period? It has been really funny that people seems to recognize me wrongly and with such a ridiculous assumption.

I have no idea what's in my mind at the moment. But, I'm still tired from the 4 months+ of hard work after finishing my Diploma. It's really been tiring coming back this time. I spent most of my time travelling from one place to another. Can't believe that I've catch 6 flight for this trip back, and yet it's not the end.

I know it's impossible, but how I wish I could stay longer in where I am now.

虽然你这一次没有拿到这个冠军，但我依然想写这篇文章给你。别人都是看卡通长大的，但我是看羽球赛长大的，我为这而感到自豪。对我来说，李宗伟就是我非常敬佩的人物，不是因为他样貌如何，也不是因为他有多厉害，而是敬佩他为羽球付出的努力，为梦想坚持的毅力！当然我们必须对他的羽球功力大大赞赏。

我很敬佩他永不放弃的心态，就算是大家眼中的不可能，他也可以变成可能。不只在于羽球，就算是羽球以为的救灾活动他也自己下手来办，赢球的奖金也捐出去当善款。在马来西亚，我敢说，李宗伟的人气来得我国首相更旺，无人不晓李宗伟。就算在国外也好，他也大受好评！

我更佩服他，能够抵受媒体和无良球迷的批评。无论被说得再恶劣，他依然为大马人争取荣誉，一直都没打退堂鼓。又有多少人真正的了解他的羽球路程，有多少人看见了他在球场上流下的汗水，还有他那输球后默默流下的泪水？人生就是如此现实，3分努力，7分幸运，这由不得你不相信。

宗伟，
别哭！就算要哭，也是为自己的表现感到自豪而感动落泪！就算哭，也记得回头看看那成千上万在后头支持你的大马人，还有世界各地的球迷们！其实看到你哭，我也好心疼...比赛就是有输赢，你背着国人给予的厚望登上世界舞台，只要努力了就好，更不应该自责些什么...



就算一直的重复这个短片，我依然为他流泪...金银还是铜其实根本就不重要！那一面奥运银牌背后有多么心酸，有多少人真正的了解？

李爸爸，你也别哭，也应该为自己培养出来的儿子感到骄傲，那世上只有一个的李宗伟！

Translation (Ps: Mind my lousy translation=D)

Even though you didn’t manage to win the game, but this article is still dedicated to you. People grew up watching cartoons during their childhood, but I grew up watching badminton match, and I’m absolutely proud of it. Lee Chong Wei is a greatly respected person to me, it wasn’t about his appearance or his tremendous tactics on the court, I salute his great effort on badminton, and undeniably the persistence of holding on his dream every now and then. Anyhow, his magic trick on the badminton court is one of the spotlights as well.


I salute on his never-give-up spirit. Even though it seems to be impossible in everyone’s point of view, he would eventually prove that nothing is impossible with his effort. He is not only a professional badminton player but a charity donor which organise fund raising activities and even donate the prize he managed to gain in his tournaments. In Malaysia, Lee Chong Wei’s popularity could be compared to our national PM, there is no one that simply doesn’t know who is Dato’ Lee Chong Wei. Obviously, it is also the same in the other foreign countries. Lee Chong Wei is definitely a public figures which is currently being highly discussed in all the social networks and media including Facebook. It is clearly seen that more people writing up a post about Lee Chong Wei’s outstanding performance than trying to congratulate Lin Dan as the winner.


I salute on him being able to tolerate those negative judgements from the public. No matter how harsh he’s being criticized, he never gives up bringing those glory moments to Malaysian! Did you ever think of how much he has gone through in this badminton journey? Have you seen those sweats from all of his trainings? Have you ever seen him with tears as the reason of losing a match? This is life where we call realistic, 30% of hard work and 70% of luck. It is not up to you to believe it or not.


Dear Chong Wei,
Don’t cry. Even if you had to, please be proud of your own achievement. No matter what happened, please do remember to turn around as there’ll be millions and thousands of people out there trying to make you through the hard time. Watching you in tears is definitely heart stacking. There’ll always be a winner in a match, it is absolutely a hard work having all those expectation on your shoulder. Please do remember that, it is good enough with the effort and hard work you’ve done. You shouldn’t be feeling sorry to anyone.


Dear Chong Wei’s daddy,
Don’t cry too. Be proud to yourself and Chong Wei’s achievement. The things that you’ve sacrifices is definitely worth it, by giving Malaysia the Only and Wonderful ‘LEE CHONG WEI’!

想要知道，在这一刻的我，对人生，是什么看法吗？虽然我还未满20，才过了人生的4分之1，应该什么都还没见识过。但，比起同龄的人来说，我也许看得多一些。今天的我，之所以会在这里，是我坚持的选择。虽然这条路，好艰难，不过如果让我再次选择，我还是没有遗憾。我很喜欢这个地方，虽然在这21个月里，有欢喜，有悲伤，有煎熬，有庆幸，有受伤，有汗水，有眼泪。但...谢谢你们给我的欢乐，谢谢你们曾经伤害我，没有这些，就没有成长。在这个地方，我才明白原来自己曾经是如此的天真，以为对每一个人的好，都会得到相同的回报，但我忘了有样东西叫‘妒嫉’。当你拥有得比别人更多时，自然就会有如此的现象出现。我只能说，曾几何时，自己好愚蠢！现在回头看，感觉自己好像当时活在童话里。

在学业方面，从以前到现在，我依然认为无论我多努力，还是比不上哥哥和姐姐。我没有他们的努力和聪明，但对自己的要求却高得很。我只有一股拼劲，把自己逼到极点。曾经有人说，我让他的日子很压力，因为我太拼了。我好想知道，为什么我的拼劲没有激发你的努力，反而让你觉得压力，你应该是在担心自己做不到，所以才有压力吧。妈妈曾经说过，当你会在别人后头闲言闲语是，说着的其实是你自己的缺点，长大后，我也开始观察了解这个道理。

在我开始接近20岁时，我开始明白为什么大家都说不想长大。原来当你懂得更多，明白现实的残酷时，才了解原来大人的世间，好复杂。我18岁，就开始工作和读书，照顾老人家。里头的同事，就算年纪再小，也20出头，年纪大的，也许能当我奶奶。在这一份工作，我看到了现实的残酷，人类的善恶。每个人都问我，你为什么想当护士？为什么不是医术，牙科，药剂师等的？我要的并不是把他们治好或什么，而是能够在每个人最难熬的日子，能够陪伴着他们渡过。我一直都不明白，为何好人短命，坏人长寿，也许他们上半辈子是个好人，这一生，风水轮流转？我觉得护士这份工作没有大家想象的容易，无论多难熬，你都必须很坚强，有时候即使你知道有些事情是不可能了，还是必须坚持着那一份信念。

有时候，我不禁会想，老了以后，是否也会一样如此？最近看了一篇文章，关于一位护士写人们在人生的末端时最大的遗憾。有一点我很赞同，就是对于没有提起勇气去追求后遗憾的事情。故事我也听了不少，人生难免总有遗憾，才显得拥有的事情，有多美好不是吗？当中也有提到，太拼的工作，到后来才发觉，其实应该善待自己。人生就是如此的简单，自己拥有的不知足，得不到的永远是最好的。其实如果换个角度来思考，也许会过得开心点。只可惜，说得容易，要真的做到，真的很难。再坚强的人，还是会掉泪，只是在可以丢下伪装的面具时候。你相信两个携手过活的人，如果有一天分开了，也不会分开很久吗？我相信...因为我看见了很多例子。我也相信人在即将离开时是会有预感的，不由得你不相信。

这世上，没有什么永不改变的，真的没有。曾经有这么一个老人家，有这么一天对我说故事，抽根烟，数数空中飞过的飞机，开心的说他今天终于上了大号。明天，他进了院，半身瘫痪了，再也不能说话进食了，在不到两星期就离开了。当时我只觉得，人生好残酷，为什么就可以如此结束？他还有好多未完成的事情...就算是再多爱心，有时候难免还是会失去那么点耐心。

至于爱情，应该是我最失败的一块吧！从头到尾，我都是输家，永远都守不住紧握在手里的东西。但，谢谢你，陪我熬过那最艰难的日子，谢谢你带给我那么多的回忆。虽然分开的原因很无奈，该放弃的还是得放开，虽然不晓得是事实还是谎言，以后的事就顺其自然吧...我真的相信缘分，遇见你是我这一辈子不曾预想的意外，1年多后让我再次相信的人，我都不认为会是在遇见你以后。拿起和放下一样的难，即使再多的时间，伤口依然存在。另一方面，为什么在一切还没有告一段落时，你还要来当我的负担？我只能说，无论如何，我还是希望从以前到现在，什么都没变，很多事情是无法拿来比较的。

在家人这一方面，我觉得自己好任性，只为了换取自由。我需要自由，没有了自由就好比没有了空气一样。我常常赌气，因为无法接受人生的一切都必须受到干涉。但我很幸运，他们还是如此的爱我！