It seems like a lot of thought just came up to my mind right before bed time. And right now, I'm holding my phone and trying to type out what it is all about. At some point, I thought that things would remain the same as they always do. But apparently, this ain't a fairy tale.No one would remain static at the same point, somehow life would have to go on no matter what. I have no idea what it is sticking in my mind now, but it absolutely has been haunting me badly.

The only thing that I knew was that I feel like a crap at the moment. Which I seriously need someone to be here with me. And all of that impossible make things hard. Once upon a time, I always think that there would only be people walking away from me in my life, and I'll be staying there figuring out why. And right at the moment, I'm thinking if it would be me someday. Nothing is impossible, things often comes true if it is on your mind. I wonder why did that came up on my mind as I am not someone that would simply give up something and be the one who turn around and walk away just like that.

There is a saying that, don't make a decision when you are truly mad, because it often turns out to be a regret. In my case, I guess it should be never make a decision when I'm tired or feeling down, as I don't even understand how does all this insane thought came up. Time flies! The most important thing is, I hate staying in the same place as no one would ever wait for you. There are moments where you think why did people wanted to give up after holding on for so long. And bare in mind, what makes you holding on for so long? Does it worth giving up after that much of effort?

You might think that what do I actually understand about life? I might be a lil' kids in your sight, but I've seen and gain a lot from some of my experience. Which I think sometimes I sound like a philosopher rather than a nurse. Whatever it is, I feel funny, and I seems insane tonight. I don't wanna walk away, but I feel really bad right at the moment. I wish you could understand that.