Wednesday, May 4, 2011

L.O.S.T

LOST? Aye? Haven't heard of that from you. Well, I'm using that to describe myself at the moment. I feel lost, sort of like in the middle of nowhere?! Seriously, what am I doing now? WORK, WORK and WORK.. I couldn't deny that I wasn't tired, because I was. Try and imagine that this is my 12-day of work in a row, and it is still yet to go as I reckon. I probably screw up my normal life, now it's all about WORK, EAT and SLEEP. I must be glad that I'm not working nights.

It's kind of depressing when I said I'm kind of lost. In fact, I feel kind of sad when I finish a day of work and it started to rain when I'm waiting for bus. For whatever reason it is, there is only one thought in my mind, just let it rain, I just want to stay as where I was. I know I sound INSANE! But who cares? I just want to let it be.

Things are getting tough, and I have no idea what can I hang on to. I seems strong in my appearance, but sometimes it wasn't always as what you could see out there. It is hard to rely on something, as it won't be there forever, it's not going to work all of the time.

I don't know what am I thinking right at the moment. I thought that a lot of work could take me away from my mind, in fact, I'm tired physically and mentally. It doesn't work any way. I'm serious about the thought of wanting to go away for a while, I need to be left alone. Just ALONE. I just need somewhere quiet and relaxing. I'm trying to smile but it's tiring because I don't really feel so. I was just forcing myself to look like I'm the normal ME.

I'm just trying to work hard now, I would definitely plan and go somewhere when I had some day off. Keep going MICHELLE! You'll get there. TRY hard, CRY hard and don't PRETEND hard! Hold on to my self=)