Thursday, January 24, 2013
I've set plenty of goals in 2012, I wonder if I've fulfill all of them. Well, there is one that I'm sure I failed to accomplish. I was so determine to stay single for the last year, but I didn't managed to. Someone steal my heart! Hahaha... I don't know if this is a good decision, but I hope time will prove the love to me. At least all of these that I have ever done would be worth it for my fragile little heart that I have. Thanks for everything too! Life is weird, I mean I can't really have a word to describe it. But I have never imagine to be with someone that I used to always see at the bus stop but rarely speak too. And I knew I was wrong being judgmental by look and behavior. I mean you weren't like what I thought you are, a lot better than I thought. I suppose everything happened for a reason.
Sometimes I wish I have super power that I could read people's mind, but I'm so afraid of knowing the truth. I wish I have more confidence with myself that I would accept the good things in my life happens because I deserve them but not just a luck. I don't have the strongest heart that I wanted to go through so many ups and down in my life. So I wish my life would just be simple and easy, Sounds quite impossible.
Nothing much that I would hope for this year, it has already been a good start having a holiday at Sydney, feels like dream come true. I'm just hoping for a good start and good ending for uni and graduate as a Registered Nurse. Not to forget about being love by people around me and loving my family more, and perhaps if I could afford to be home. Currently in homesick mode, yes it has been nearly 15 months since I last went home. I suppose this is gonna be the first time for me to not be home for at least 2 yrs. Anyway, be strong Michelle=)
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I updated what I'm up to. Somehow I seems to have a kinda busy life. Hmm, still the daily chores and old routines. I know February is about to come to an end, and yet I'm actually writing my new year resolution now. Ooopss! Sorry for unable to keep things updated. Anyway, I'm trying my best to keep things up to scratch. It'll be a bit to talk about here.
It's a new year for me. It'll be a new life, taking on a new role at work, will be working with the organisation for 2 yrs on next week. New Uni life too! I'm kind of excited but anxious at the same time. I knew I chose a different path from everyone else. No looking back but time to strike for the best, leave no regrets and prove things right=D I knew I'll need lots of hardwork this year. Things won't be easy especially in such a high reputation Uni. I could only try my best and focus on things as much as possible. It's tougher when I have to deal with work at the same time, things seems different when you have greater responsibility. Somehow, it double ups the pressure when you're trying to afford your living expenses and trying to pay off your fees. It doesn't take you anywhere thinking of how hardworking you gotta be for all of this.
I think I'll need heaps of effort concentrating on both studies and work. Just somehow, my life equation for the next 2 year would be:
Family(25%)+ study(25%)+ work(25%)+ friends(25%)=100%
I just want it to be this way. No relationship for me I suppose. Maybe it's too much, kinda scary or just simply too complicated. Like what I mention, I'm single, but not available. Right now at the moment, I need to focus on study and work. I'm sorry and I do felt bad. But I gotta somehow go on with my life and think about it when it's the time. I appreciate for all the things I have and what people have done to me. I had a pretty good Valentines Day, we never knew what's gonna happen in the future, but I'm content with what I have. I'm always feeling lucky for everything.
In this new year, I don't want to disappoint my family and most importantly my parents. I don't want them to worry about me at this age. And I remember promising dad to study hard towards my dream. Perhaps it is not too late to realize when I came to Adelaide that how much they have sacrifies to bring me closer to my future. I have to be responsible for my own life and work hard towards what I'm anticipating. I always have a wish and hopefully could make that come true soon. At the moment, I'll keep that as a mystery=P
I suppose at the moment, I've clarified my new year's resolution. I always wanted to go around Australia when I'm still studying, and I've crossed off one more state now! It's just Sydney, Canberra and Tasmania to go=) Just came back from Brisbane, and I absolutely love it! Great place and not to forget with people that I appreciate in life=)
In a nutshell, I suppose I just wanna stay sweet and have a great year♥♥
Sunday, January 22, 2012
How's life been? I've been questioning myself. Honestly, it's all about work! Well, I'm getting used to work as a Registered Nurse now. It's a bit too much for me to begin with, but I tried my best. It is definitely brilliant to get compliment from the manager that she could see me handling things in a professional way and follow up things efficiently. I suppose, I should have more confidence with myself.
It has only been a couple of months since I'm officially taking on an Enrolled Nurse position, and yet I'm given a chance to deal with something more than that. I should really say, this is out of my expectation, and I'm looking at myself as kind of lack of experience. I hope students learning from me is finding it alright:) Undeniably it's kinda stressful sometimes, it feels like I'm spending my whole day in that place dealing with old people, doctor, phone calls, pharmacy and staff. Well.. Basically everything that happens in a day, you're responsible for it.
At some point, I think it's too much. I need some de-stress. But every time when you took some time off the roster, you knew that you'll have to make it up next time. Just because you're making your own living, I gotta pay my rent.. I gotta think about my fees. Days off are technically just for a rest, it's only physically. Mentally up there, I don't think I ever did have a rest. Maybe I'm worrying too much..
I guess that is why I reckon, I could only handle study and work in the coming 2 yrs. Commitment is too much, not that I'm not willing to contribute part of my life, but somehow life doesn't seems to always appears in the way you wanted it to be! People take things for granted, and I believe no one would understand more than I do if things are worth it for a long wait or taking it easy.
There are always good and bad side just like head and tail on a coin. Sometimes it doesn't means that things are good when I didn't voice out the dark side. I suppose I'm not great but at least I knew the basic of judging whose good to me. I think I should stop wasting time for people that ask more than give. Or perhaps, taking things for granted that only appears when they need you. I need to love myself more than giving the privilege away to someone that probably doesn't worth it.
I felt sorry, for people who likes and loves me. I'm so lucky to have people that's treating me so nicely. But I think things would remain the same for the meanwhile. We'll never know what's coming to us in the future, but I'm truly sorry. I wish I could cherish what's in front of me, but somehow it doesn't work out. There's always something bothering me, even though I tried to get rid of it. That's human, always wanted something that doesn't belong to you...
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Yeah right, it's a New Year! Well, wasn't that excited right at the moment. This is not a new year post,just right at the moment, I feels like writing. There is too much things going on at the moment, too much bothering me. Or perhaps, I care about things too much. Wasn't in the very best mood at the moment, just something doesn't seems to be right. Hey, can't believe I'm back here for 2 months already. I have no idea what I've done except working hard. It's only 2 months, and I'm getting tired already.
Maybe I was just grumpy that I worked last night. Not that it was bad, but it was absolutely good. Just that I didn't get to sleep, and pretty cross with the housekeeping that was bothering me from sleeping. And... now I guess I mess up my biological clock. How great, I'm working in the morning tomorrow. I hope my brain is fine=D
I will make up a post for new year, when I have time to do so. Gotta talk about the new year resolution=)
I really wonder how long can I hold on there with determination. No one is gonna stay there forever. I don't know what's bothering me? I'm just not me today. I miss HOME, I feels like CRYING! This is really BAD! Can you imagine? I feel bad because people has been too good to me, I don't know what can I do to repay. I know deep in my heart, I would never be able to repay in the way you treat me. And what about things that I care? What does it means when you only care about it when you have time?
If I have a chance to choose, I don't want anything. But leave me a peaceful life if you didn't meant to be straight forward. I need to have my own life.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
It's only been like 2 weeks plus since I came back to Adelaide. Well, it seems like it's been ages for me! I suppose time flies, but it goes quick when you're busy. I've been spending most of my time on work, class, and getting myself back to a healthy lifestyle. Honestly, it's too hard! Especially when you were ask to work a double shift or night shift like last minute. And your time eventually get mess up again=/
Owh:( I miss home badly when I first got back. It's hard to believe that you'll woke up in the middle of the night and find yourself in tears or wetting the pillowcase. I suppose STRESS has push me up to such a limit!
There's so much that I really miss back home. I don't know but somehow I guess it must be quiet at home now. I seems to be making noise or perhaps I talk.. and talk for the day!=D I miss moments where everyone treat me like a baby. You'll never get daddy who get rids of the fish bones because he knows you'll never have it if you gotta do it yourself. You'll never get mummy that try to cook whatever you like when you're home=D You'll never have brother that get you food all the time like you were gonna starve and make fun of you like a kids! And you'll never get a sister to have pillow talk with you and sleeping together=) or probably hits you in the middle of the night.. *evil*
That's the difference of being home and Adelaide:) there's so much memories with friends and cousins where you grew up together. There'll be heaps of silly stories that you could never imagine. 2 yrs it's not gonna be short! But perhaps that's how life is, when you wanted something better, you'll have to work hard or give up something.
Life in Adelaide is great too! But it's more to a planned and organized life. My day has always been planned in advance of a month according to my roster and time table. I'll have to be on my own most of the time. But I reckon I'm a lucky girl. I have a great workplace, and having those lovely and caring colleague. I felt warmth and you guys just gave me all the happiness especially I'm so far away from home at this age:) Not to forget about those old people that I'm taking care of=D Your thanks means a lot to what I did for you, a big smile would be worth it=) Honestly, I'm enjoying my time with you all, getting to spend time with the oldies was part of my life. Thanks for looking after me, and being so caring when I was so tired from work.
Out of work, I have some social life too:) It's acceptable to be insane sometimes, that creates some memorable moments in life! Sometimes I'm so afraid of losing all of these. But somehow, things get complicated when you grow up, and that'll be another chapter of life right?
I really wonder if it's a right decision of getting into Flinders University which seems so tough compared to UniSA? But perhaps, I want something better.. And obviously it's not gonna be easy to get it.. But I suppose, the outcome would be fruitful=D So, Gambateh Michelle! It's a good thing trying to hold on till I get there:)
There's always matter I couldn't even explain in my life. As I said, it's out of my capability to differentiate the line between a friend or something more than that. But perhaps, I'm always glad to have you<3 At least I realize that I've been relying on you for the past 2 yrs and even up till now. We never know what will happen in the future since it's unpredictable. I know it's time to let go of something that doesn't worth it and go on for something better or perhaps someone who deserves it! I never know fate could be in such a unexplainable way and I always wonder why is that? If I was given a chance, I hope the story would end as I wished=D Unfortunately, it's not up to me, and we'll see what will happen. Sometimes I found myself kind of stubborn or stupid to only realize things when it's already over=/ In between being harsh and letting go, I always give up!
Anyway, 'Rock n Roll' Michelle! You need more faith to hang on there=D
Thursday, November 3, 2011