How's life been? I've been questioning myself. Honestly, it's all about work! Well, I'm getting used to work as a Registered Nurse now. It's a bit too much for me to begin with, but I tried my best. It is definitely brilliant to get compliment from the manager that she could see me handling things in a professional way and follow up things efficiently. I suppose, I should have more confidence with myself.

It has only been a couple of months since I'm officially taking on an Enrolled Nurse position, and yet I'm given a chance to deal with something more than that. I should really say, this is out of my expectation, and I'm looking at myself as kind of lack of experience. I hope students learning from me is finding it alright:) Undeniably it's kinda stressful sometimes, it feels like I'm spending my whole day in that place dealing with old people, doctor, phone calls, pharmacy and staff. Well.. Basically everything that happens in a day, you're responsible for it.

At some point, I think it's too much. I need some de-stress. But every time when you took some time off the roster, you knew that you'll have to make it up next time. Just because you're making your own living, I gotta pay my rent.. I gotta think about my fees. Days off are technically just for a rest, it's only physically. Mentally up there, I don't think I ever did have a rest. Maybe I'm worrying too much..

I guess that is why I reckon, I could only handle study and work in the coming 2 yrs. Commitment is too much, not that I'm not willing to contribute part of my life, but somehow life doesn't seems to always appears in the way you wanted it to be! People take things for granted, and I believe no one would understand more than I do if things are worth it for a long wait or taking it easy.

There are always good and bad side just like head and tail on a coin. Sometimes it doesn't means that things are good when I didn't voice out the dark side. I suppose I'm not great but at least I knew the basic of judging whose good to me. I think I should stop wasting time for people that ask more than give. Or perhaps, taking things for granted that only appears when they need you. I need to love myself more than giving the privilege away to someone that probably doesn't worth it.

I felt sorry, for people who likes and loves me. I'm so lucky to have people that's treating me so nicely. But I think things would remain the same for the meanwhile. We'll never know what's coming to us in the future, but I'm truly sorry. I wish I could cherish what's in front of me, but somehow it doesn't work out. There's always something bothering me, even though I tried to get rid of it. That's human, always wanted something that doesn't belong to you...