I hold it, coz I don't wanna lose it..

I'm tired, really tiring after all. I've been in this place for 3 weeks. It wasn't very long though.. But time flies, it's hard to get through but it seems to go faster than we thought! And right at the moment, I'm feeling kind of weird. I'm not only tired physically but mentally and emotionally.

I guess I'm tired physically at the moment as I haven't been sleeping well for the past few nights. But in mentally and emotionally, I guess I've been worrying too much on the upcoming things. Which I think I should have some advance planning, I wanted to have things in place and stop worrying about it. 

You probably won't understand how important is some of the things that I'm holding on now. Which I don't want to and can't afford to lose it. What can I say and how should I explain that? Everything comes to me at once, I've got everything I want but it's not going to stay there forever. I need to work extremely hard to get there. I wonder how many of you actually saw the moments where I struggle on my own. Which I eventually still thinks that I'm not working hard enough yet. You might think that I'm insane! I agree with that. I think I'm insane to a certain point where I couldn't believe I could do 3 night shifts in a row with classes during the day.

I studied hard, work hard no matter in job or assignment just to give it the best I could. It's all because I want to leave no regrets. I wish there is someone who will tell me, don't worry you'll be fine, nothing will change, you won't lose anything.

I love this place, I love this work and there's people that means a lot to me. Nothing seems to be perfect, so what should I do?