I'm tired, really tiring after all. I've been in this place for 3 weeks. It wasn't very long though.. But time flies, it's hard to get through but it seems to go faster than we thought! And right at the moment, I'm feeling kind of weird. I'm not only tired physically but mentally and emotionally.

I guess I'm tired physically at the moment as I haven't been sleeping well for the past few nights. But in mentally and emotionally, I guess I've been worrying too much on the upcoming things. Which I think I should have some advance planning, I wanted to have things in place and stop worrying about it. 

You probably won't understand how important is some of the things that I'm holding on now. Which I don't want to and can't afford to lose it. What can I say and how should I explain that? Everything comes to me at once, I've got everything I want but it's not going to stay there forever. I need to work extremely hard to get there. I wonder how many of you actually saw the moments where I struggle on my own. Which I eventually still thinks that I'm not working hard enough yet. You might think that I'm insane! I agree with that. I think I'm insane to a certain point where I couldn't believe I could do 3 night shifts in a row with classes during the day.

I studied hard, work hard no matter in job or assignment just to give it the best I could. It's all because I want to leave no regrets. I wish there is someone who will tell me, don't worry you'll be fine, nothing will change, you won't lose anything.

I love this place, I love this work and there's people that means a lot to me. Nothing seems to be perfect, so what should I do?

Hey, I'm currently in Wudinna, well... In fact, I'm here for nearly 3 weeks already. I guess we settled down quite well, and picking up the routine as time goes by! Hmm, can't deny that I miss Adelaide, but I had heaps of fun in this new place. I'm so sorry that it takes so long to update you guys. Wudinna is a really small town which has about 500+ of population but they're extremely nice! They made us a foreigner felt the warmth of being home. I wanted to go back to Adelaide in the first place, but I fell in love with this place. It is quiet, peaceful and as I said, you could find the simplest form of happiness here=) I guess I'll love the work here, no time frame and enjoying the time with the residents by providing a proper care. The residents were lovely too. Eventhough there is not much happening stuff in this small town, but there's is some interesting case too=) Since it's a quiet place, I guess both me and Debrah spend most of our time in the kitchen other than hospital, on the bed and on the phone. We're feeding ourself fairly good at the moment, we can see signs of putting on weight already. We can't believe that we were actually invited to attend the hospital fundraising ball. We didn't want to attend that at first as we have got no proper clothes. We didn't expect to attend such a function during our placement. But we ended up having nurses trying to organise dress and shoes for us so that we'll look good at the ball=D How sweet is that! I felt that I looks like a red walking lantern, but everyone else think I looks great on the ball=) Thanks guys! Thanks Pauline for the lovely dress. I had lots of fun at the ball. It's time to DE-STRESS... and that helps a lot! The ball was AWESOME! It is totally different from what I've experience before. I could see how they held an auction to raise fund for the hospital. Everything went well, but I'm totally scared by a stranger who came up sitting beside me and started to talk which he eventually wanted to invite me for a dance. I wish someone could save me, but my dear friend sitting beside me were falling asleep. It's our day off... We've been wanting to have a great jump on the jumping pillow just 2-3 minutes away from the hospital. It's real fun! It's an easy day where we could lay back, have late lunch and sitting in the living room watching TV. It's gonna be another new week again tommorow onwards. The weather is getting cold and I didn't even think about bringing along some winter clothes with me. I guess at this stage I could only rely on blankets and heater.

Nothing much happening this week. It's just another week of placement, manage to see some lumps and bumps which is really interesting. I guess I spent most of my time on skype and over the phone. Phone and internet is the only way to use when you miss someone. Somehow I wish I could stand on my own, the feeling of having to rely on the others make me insecure. At some point, you'll have to realize that there might not be someone there for you when you need them. And that makes you feel awful!

Just figure out I started to draw when I miss someone... I guess I need to get myself a sketch pad=D I had a great talk with a patient in the hospital the other day, having lots of fun when he's trying to tease me. That's actually the greatest and the part that I love the most taking care of an elderly. Laughter is important, and life is too short to be worried about. I learnt a lot from you, thanks for those interesting stories which makes me laugh. I wish you could get well soon and keep going=)

Okay, I'm not trying to EMO, but I guess it's due to hormonal changes. I just felt kind of weird, couldn't really put that in words. Am I tired? Yes indeed... Finished off 10 case study and a learning guide in a week time, I guess I haven't been sleeping for nights. For goodness sake, my day and nights are once again upside down.

It's such a relieve to finished that off, but I've never really got a chance to lay back for a while. I'll be working 3 night shifts in a row from Tues to Thurs. After all, I've got class from Wed to Fri, it means no sleep for me at all. I'll see how it goes, probably would drop one of the day. I'll have another shift on Sunday morning, that would be my last shift before getting off for placement.

Whatever it is, I just feel really weird now. I'm probably coping to the feeling of being so relieve out of a sudden, but it's not the end yet. There's still another research topic to deal, gotta produce a proposal for research.

Hey there, I've got another member in my teddy family again=) Isn't that adorable?! Honestly, I felt so heart stacking to actually eat that love shape chocolate on the teddy. I guess I'll keep it=) After so much consideration, I'll probably bring him and Zac together with me during placement. I've been wanting to bring Gulliver as that is my favourite but it doesn't seems to be able to fit in my luggage. Anyway, gotta give this new teddy a name=P I've have him and Zac with me at Wudinna.

Hahaha... You might think that I'm extremely childish! Yes, I got to admit that=) I can be really childish but I'm always serious dealing with matter. I watched Gnomeo and Juliet with Jasmine on Saturday night. O-M-Geeee... It was AWESOME! Gnomes are so adorable and it is just different from the original storyline of Romeo and Juliet. It is freaking funny when William Shakespears appear in the storyline. It is a happyily-ever-after ending which is really sweet! But as we know, that would never appear in real life. I always know that life ain't a fairy tale.

I can't believe that I'm leaving in a week time. Seriously, I'm not prepared to leave Adelaide for 6 weeks yet. I might miss a lot of things in Adelaide. And I know that this 6 weeks is gonna be a tough time. No matter what it is, I'll need to have faith in myself and others. Hopefully this 6 weeks will go through really quick.

I'm stressed out, everything just come all in once. They either never come or just come all together. After all, it's just about the same, study, work, assignment, test, placement and relationship. I only have 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. That might have to be divided among all of the above. I don't seems to have much time left for sleep and my own aye?!

Getting through the audit was really a great relieve! I'm glad I made it, and seriously... my vaso vagal nerve is killing me... Felt like puking and going to the toilet at the same time. Loss my appetite for that whole day=(

Can't believe that time flies! Just 2 more topics to go and I'll be going for the last placement. Hey people, I'm leaving in 2 weeks!! I feel anxious, excited, nervous, scared and heavy hearted. I didn't expect to leave Adelaide for 6 weeks for the acute care placement. The most important thing is, I HATE travelling on bus for so long, 8 hours is no kidding man!! To and from takes up one of my day=(

There is nothing really bad actually, it's just that schedule are packed and I'm tired. I'm doing good here, hoping to have more time to do my work and spending it with the precious one. I guess I'm really lucky to have all of the loved ones with me. There's bad part too, I know it's human nature that wanting to know and talks about whatever they saw. But being fair enough, mind your own business and clear up your own mess instead of being too caring to the others. Look at yourself, you might not care what people judge on you, but be shame on it though. What you're trying to judge on people actually reflects back on yourself.

I'm happy with things now, it wasn't the end yet but I guess I've made a right decision for setting such goal. Things seems to be easier if you're not alone and life gets better too=) I understand that there's nothing that would be the same all the time, but I'll try my best to keep it up with effort.

Happy Chinese New Year=) It's bunny year! Just gonna wish you guys a prosperous Chinese New Year, stay healthy and wealthy, laugh to the blast and live to the fullest=D

Honestly, I wasn't really that looking forward for this Chinese New Year as I thought it would be. It was bad last year, trying to call home but there is simply no one that would really spent some time talking on the phone with me. Sad aye=( It's just a new year that I'm moulding in the room.

I thought it was gonna be the same for this year, I was kind of homesick before this. But it's great this year. Had a reunion dinner with D12 family at Chinatown spending AUD455 for the 12 of us. It's worth it, we had lots of fun and trying to have our own CNY in Adelaide. Saw some lion dance and I just feel good=) It's hard to get exactly what we got back at home, but with effort we had an AWESOME one as well!

Let the photos do the talking=D
With my dearest Debrah<3<3> With Chong Kiat( Deb's ah pa XD)

With Qun Qun=P

With Sherwine

With Betty

With Chua Chua=.=!!

With Kong..

With Marianne

With Caroline(Da Jie=D)

With Grandma GeraldineXD

D12 Family+ Marianne+Ryan

All girls=)

I'm glad I had this D12 family, not a big family, but a great one! And it will always be the best! All the best in our coming TAFE audit and Acute Care Placement=) We can do it!! Time flies, we've been spending a year time together, with all the laughter and memorable momentXD

What makes me say so? I've been wandering about that as well. I guess it's probably due to some articles and readings. It's not too late to actually realise the needing of living life to the fullest. By looking through, it's not only about enjoying life. The underlying meaning includes striking the best in achieving dream, maintaining body health, slow down the pace of life and appropriate time frame for relaxation.

It is true that I've been pushing myself too hard for the past 18 years. Life is short. I love the immortal lines by William Henry Davies-- What is this life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare. It explained the purpose of life. There is no meaning living a life without appreciating the outstanding scenery. Believe me or not? When you feel down, tilt your head backwards and look up on the sky. You'll figure out the best scene that could eventually cheer you up!

I'm not trying to be emotional, but this is simply what I want to express. This is a crucial year for me to work hard. No kidding! I'm not trying to push myself harder, but I should grasp every opportunity that could lead me to another stage of life. I reckon it's time to stop grumbling that I'm really tired, I should have get used to the lifestyle. Even though 3 weeks is incredibly short, but that is better than none. This is a year that I have to be disciplined and managing my finances with full care. Social life is tempting but I have to be determined by not affecting my study and work. Laziness is UNACCEPTABLE at all!

I'm not a perfectionist, but it's too hard to feeling repent after all. I believe with determination, nothing is insurmountable=) Aza Aza Fighting!!!

Reflection of 2010,

From the onset of summer class, joining of D12 & 13, and there it starts my life of taking Diploma of Nursing. I know it's a no turning choice which I made by myself. Even though life is hard, I have to go on, to leave no regrets by deciding my own path. I won't give up, because I'm determine to reach what I want.

From sending every resume, receiving no replies and till the day that I received call for interview. I consider myself as lucky! Everyone stands an equal chance and all just depends on your resume and first impression. Receiving contract of employment and having hard time coping with new environment, and up till today being the baby girl in workplace which everyone being really good to me. Thanks a lot for everyone in The Bentleigh, and thank god for giving all of these to me.

It's really good being able to afford my own living and rewarding myself a trip to Melbourne. Once upon a time, I never thought I would be able to make it up to this point. The trip to Melbourne is such a great trip for me to release all the stress that's been building up over the year. I couldn't get home but at least I could get away from study and work for just a few days.

The life after that is all about assignment and work which really drives me crazy. I admit I'm such a workaholic, I never let go a single chance of being able to work hard. Somehow I always think that there's part of me that was insane. I'm glad that I reach one of my goal of never ever having to delay my work. I can sacrifice my sleeping time to finish off all of my assignment even though I knew extension of due date is acceptable. I can't tolerate with myself for being lazy. This is what I want and there isn't any single chance that I would like to let myself down. Everyone keeps telling me, RELAX! A rubber band will tear apart if too much force is exerted on it.

The life after that is all about the crucial moment of 160 hours aged care placement. Placement is the great timing to gain knowledge and experience and it's the moment which I suffer the most. I have placement during weekdays and work during weekend. Being a student is hard especially when your luck doesn't go the way it suppose to be. It's a hard time and the moment which I become really emotional. I have the passion of being a nurse but I tend to built up relationship with the residents once I get along with them. The hardest part of this job is actually seeing someone you've been taking care of suffering and struggling from death. Nothing in the scope of your work is expectable. There's pros and cons by making your work interesting but full of 'surprises'!!

Dear Harrold,

It's been only few weeks of knowing you but your character and personality leave me a good impression. It's going to be a good memory for me talking to you when giving medication and taking you out for a cigarette. I still remember how excited you are trying to tell me a good news, and those moment when we're counting airplanes up in the sky when you're smoking. I love the way when you just don't want to take up our time but we really worried about you.

Ps:Rest in peace and you'll always be one of the most special person I've taken care of.

There's joy and tears in this 160 hours placement. I'm glad that I could get through that with positive feedback. I turned 19 on the 15th December 2010. Honestly, I've been wanting to celebrate my birthday at home. But I had the greatest birthday ever in my life. I received 130++ birthday wishes on facebook, birthday wishes through sms and phone calls from Malaysia. I received birthday wishes and presents from colleagues, course mate and etc. I still work on my birthday and feels great receiving heaps of wishes when I'm working even from the site manager. I had a great dinner with colleagues with all kind of nice dishes. I went for clubbing for the first ever time in my life. Even though 15December is over, but I still receive belated birthday wishes and presents until now. It's finally time to go HOME after 15 months. I wonder how did I make through all of the homesick moment when I'm really down. I've probably used few boxes of tissues and wetting my pillow and hugging my teddy over the night. I've been keeping myself single again over the year after the previous relationship. I feel sorry for all the rejection that I've made, I never really try to open up a space by accepting someone in this year. But Hey! I'm really back at home, no kidding... and it's real!

As a conclusion, I'm grateful for meeting so many great people in my life trying to guide me and get me through those hard time. There's still so much obstacles to go through and uncountable goals to achieve. Heaps of improvement on myself and overall, it's an AWESOME Year of 2010!

Goals for 2011=)

-Be more hardworking, never try to be lazy

-Stay healthy

-Must get IELTS 7 to register with the Nursing Board

-Appreciate everyone in my life especially my lovely family and people who love me

-Work hard but give myself some moment to de-stress

-Start my savings and plan ahead for my degree studies

-Open up a space for someone special which I could rely on

-Never give up under any circumstances

-Laugh till the blast and live everyday to full

-Be grateful on what I have and own